SEX DURING FASTING
I know you are on a fast,
but what about a little fast sex?
When I told my wife that I was going on a long fast, the first question she asked was, "ARE WE GOING TO "DO IT" WHILE YOU ARE ON YOUR FAST?"
There is rarely any advice given to the faster concerning sex. Many people need tons of advice about sex even if they aren't fasting, but if you're interested in sex, that's another book of mine that I am writing called, OH GOD! SEX FEELS GOOD-The Straight Talk Guide To Christian SexISBN# 0-9631075-7-7
You must understand how sex works on the body, mind and spirit to understand its application during fasting. Sex has several major components to it.
Sex Feels Good
Sex is Emotional
Sex is Good Exercise
Sex is Spiritual
Sex Changes Energy Levels
Sex Changes Tension Levels
Sex feels good. There is usually no argument about that even though the statement is not true for everyone. Some people get no enjoyment from sex. It is a chore and a dread for some. But for the vast majority of all creation with sex organs, sex is pleasurable.
Because sex feels good (and in some cases sex feels extremely good), this may be a prime reason for your sexual behavior during a fast. If you are married, there should be mutual consent if abstaining from sex during a fast. It is difficult to stop something that feels very good. If we did not get such a pleasure out of eating, most people would not become fat.
Sex is emotional. Sex usually generates strong emotional feelings over time. Women usually are more emotionally responsive initially, but I believe men get more attached in a good relationship in the long run.
Sex can bring out many different emotions, everything from love to extreme jealousy, from a great appreciation of a person to a great resentment. It can provoke feelings of unselfishness or an "out for self only" attitude. The emotion varies with the relationship, but one thing is certain. With time, sex will definitely change emotions.
Sex is good exercise. Depending upon how long and how vigorous sex is, it can be a very good exercise. If sex only lasts two or three minutes and you could put a dozen eggs under the couple without any of them breaking, chances are not much exercise is going on.
If on the other hand, the mattress wears out every couple of years, the couple gets up covered with sweat, and you miss an entire movie on television because you were sexually engaged, that is good exercise. Vigorous sex is aerobic and conditions the entire body.
One particular area that vigorous sex conditions is the abdomen region. The constant pelvic thrusting works the entire region from the upper thigh to below the breast bone. A major contributor to constipation and the clogging of the digestive system is a loose and flabby tone of the muscular system. Bowel movements improve when your abdomen is in shape. Good sex helps to get that region in condition.
Sex is spiritual. This book is not about my particular spiritual beliefs. All religions have laws concerning sexual behavior. All of the laws fundamentally boil down to this: Whomever you have sex with, you should stay with. By "stay with" I do not mean shack up together, but you should never break the relationship. In this society, it's called "marriage".
In the Old Testament of the Bible polygamy was allowed, but the principle of staying together was not violated. Even if a man had 10 wives, when he had sex with her, he stayed with her, and she with him.
There is a bond formed when sex occurs. A transfer of biological pheromones, hormones, essences, energies and other things we have yet to scientifically measure occurs. This effect is, of course, stronger between some than others, but there is an unseen, unmeasured effect that occurs when two human bodies sexually join.
Sex changes energy levels. After you have sex, I can guarantee you that your energy level will not be the same. You may feel energized or drained, but you will not feel the same. The second law of thermodynamics in essence states that, "when a system of higher energy comes in contact with a system of lower energy, the ENERGY ALWAYS flows from the higher source to the lower."
If a hot object touches a warm object, energy (heat) will flow from the hot object to the warm and never from the warm object to the hot.
The human body is full of electrical impulses. It is like a giant wet cell battery. Electricity and other forms of energy flow simply from a touch. Sex is the most intimate and thorough, and wet, of the human touches. Energy flows one way or the other between the two bodies.
Energy also flows with the liquids that are discharged during sex, particularly for a man. The average male ejaculation contains 300 million sperm. That is enough sperm to repopulate the United States in every ejaculation. Those sperm are living, wiggling, swimming creatures.
Just as the principle, "to make something clean you must make something dirtier" exists, so do other principles. For something to live, something else must die.
For you to live, something else must die.
For you to live, something else must die. You eat a cow, or a chicken or a fish to live. The animal must die. You may be a vegetarian. I am 95% vegetarian. For me to live, fruits must die, vegetables must die and nuts must die for me to live. All animals live from the death of other animals or plants.
Even plants live from the death of the sun. The sun is a massive fusion reactor that is slowly dying from using up its fuel. It may take a few million years, but it is dying. From its death, comes life.
Where do you think the life of those 300 million sperm comes from?
Ask most men how do they feel after sex, energized or sleepy? The vast majority will tell you that they feel sleepy. A life force or energy has left them when they ejaculate. The better condition the man is in, the less he will feel this effect but it occurs nonetheless.
Sex usually decreases a man's energy level after ejaculation. The woman often is not affected from a major drop in energy level.
Sex changes tension levels. Sex usually decreases tension. Particularly if it is very good. Sleepiness can result from a release of tension and not a decrease in energy level. During orgasm, the body tenses then relaxes. Even the orgasmic contractions are a series of hard contractions followed by relaxation, then contraction, then relaxation.
Sex reduces tension. If the sex is not under ideal conditions, it can increase tension. Pregnancy, AIDS, disease, infidelity and a host of other things can increase worry and tension after the short term release of sex. Sex changes tension levels. It immediately reduces tension in the physical, and may reduce or INCREASE it in the psychological which then affects the physical.
Sex varies. Sex varies depending on the couple and on the various times with the couple. Just as all loves are not created equal (at least among humans), neither are all sexual experiences. Sex can sometimes drain you to the point that you want to sleep all day. It can energize you to the point of wanting to stay up all night. Sex varies.
With these observations established, let's talk about sex and fasting.
Your sexual behavior during a fast depends upon several factors.
Why are you fasting? Is it for health, weight loss or spiritual reasons.
How long are you fasting? Is it one or two days or one or two weeks?
Are you a man or a woman? Yes, it does make a difference when you are fasting.
Your sexual control? I will explain that one shortly.
Sex is pleasurable. Most would like to continue to have sex during a fast. The only reason that we would not is if it was unhealthy, dangerous, or spiritually against what we wanted to do.
In the beginning stages of a fast, your energy will usually drop to a very low level. When your energy drops to a very low level, sex is the last thing on your mind. You can hardly get up much less get anything else up. The motivation and desire for sex is greatly diminished when your energy falls.
After the low energy period passes, sex pops back on your mind. Then what?
If you are fasting for spiritual reasons, you should avoid sex during your fast. Fasting from a spiritual perspective involves removing oneself from the carnal things of this world. Food is the most carnal thing. Yes, food is a greater carnal temptation than sex. Go seven days without sex, and then seven days without food and see which is harder. I used to think that sex was the greatest of the carnal temptations. That was before I fasted. Food is the strongest of the fleshly drives.
As I have said, the first thing we need is the warmth and touch of our mother's arms. Then we need food. Next comes the need for recognition, attention, THE EGO. The sex drive does not even develop until we are teenagers. It is the last drive to come in and the first drive to go out. It is with us for the shortest amount of time.
Fasting for spiritual purposes usually involves sacrificing those things of the flesh and consecrating oneself to God. Many religious orders prohibit sex among those that have fully consecrated themselves to God. Many monastic orders, priests, nuns, and yogis completely give up sex.
For spiritual purposes, it is best to abstain from sex during your fast. You should have the consent and support of your spouse before doing this. It must be mutually agreed upon. If your wife or husband wants sex while you fast, your first obligation is to them. You need to be on one accord with your spouse.
Some religions that have ritual fasting, Islam for example, does not allow sex during the fasting period. Christianity has no definitive rules concerning what to do about sex during fasting. Be sure to read the rest of the advice about sex and fasting if you decide to have sex during your spiritual fast.
If you are fasting for weight loss or health reasons then the three other questions raised in the "it depends upon" section need to be answered.
How long are you fasting? If you are only fasting one to three days, having sex will not make a difference other than making you hungrier. During a fast the greatest hunger occurs during the first three days. After three days, hunger usually diminishes.
In general, I would recommend abstaining from sex if you are fasting. For a short 1-3 day fast, even though sex will make you hungrier, it should not harm you. The pelvic thrusting may actually help the intestines to clear the accumulated material from your system.
Sex during ANY fast is NOT THE BEST IDEA. The best idea is to have sex during your pre-fast regime on The Eden Diet and to abstain from sex during your fast.
If you are planning on a longer fast, over three days, it is best to abstain from sex. The energy drain may get too rough, especially for a man. If you can't abstain, for reasons of either discipline or lack of spousal support, then at least follow certain guidelines.
Are you a man or woman? In case you have not noticed, the sexual organs of a man are different than those of a woman. Therefore, the sexual arousal, response, orgasm, recovery and ejaculation are also different between the sexes. If you are a woman, then my advice concerning sex and fasting is different.
When you have sex with your spouse, do you feel refreshed and energized or drained? Persons can have totally opposite aftermath sexual responses. If you feel refreshed and energized, then the sexual experience is providing you with energy. If you feel drained afterwards, then it is draining you of energy.
If you are an energy recipient, then obviously, sex during the fast will not drain your energy (beyond the exercise factor) to have sex. If you are an energy donor, or you feel drained, I would strongly advise against having sex during a fast. As I mentioned, sex varies. That ends my sexual advice to women. In summary, it is better if you abstain. It is not so bad if you are being energized, but it will severely deplete your energy if you are being drained during sex.
If you are a man then the last question applies only to you. How is your sexual control?
Ejaculation is universally draining for a man. I don't care who you are, ejaculation will drain you of your life force and energy. If you are in great shape or very young, the drain may be almost unnoticeable, but the drain is there. Three hundred million living sperm leave a man's body swimming in a nutrient rich stream. Your body has to draw upon its resources to replenish them and that drains you.
If you must have sex
DO NOT EJACULATE!!!
To learn to control this is not easy. If you do not ejaculate, you will not lose the energy. You will only exercise. This may even improve your sex life after the fast as it will help you learn to control ejaculation. A significant percentage of the male population has a problem with that.
There are techniques to train a man how to have sex and have an orgasm and no ejaculation, but that's another book. When you master that, you will gain more discipline than just food control.